


All my mistakes are slowly drowning me

by 5sosismylifee



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Clueless!Luke, Dark!Michael, Friendly!Ash, M/M, multi chapter fic, sorry there's no calum and ash is minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-03-17 11:43:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3528155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5sosismylifee/pseuds/5sosismylifee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Muke fic where Michael is really mysterious and Luke is just curious. In third person. Hope you enjoy :)<br/>[title from Little do you Know-Alex & Sierra]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Alright guys, I haven't posted for a looong time...sorry I've been really busy lately  
> I just got this idea and I don't really know how it's gonna go...but it probably won't be more than 15 chapters. idk. but thanks for reading! kudos and comments are always appreciated :)

One morning in Sydney, a certain boy named Luke Hemmings woke up slowly. He blinked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

_ A new day, a new adventure _

His mom always says that, and today especially it applied. A room, a new house, a new town, a new school. So many news. That must mean that there are going to be so many new adventures, right? Little did he know that he was extremely correct.

The blond sighs, getting up when his mother calls from downstairs, reminding him that he needs to get to school, or his teachers will mark him tardy on the first day.

Luke goes through the familiar steps of getting ready. Before he knows it, he's at the bus stop, and the school bus is slowing down in front of him. He adjusts his backpack straps, shifting nervously on his feet as the door opens. Luke nervously steps up, biting his lip as he looks down the rows of seats.

Should he sit in the back? No, he doesn't want to be seen as a trouble maker on his first day at a new school. The middle then? No, somebody crazy could sit next to him. There's only a few people on the bus, and none of them are paying him any attention. Luke starts to freak out, debating his seat choice until somebody coughs next to him. It's the bus driver. She looks nice enough, on the plump side with slightly greasy blond hair, but a nice smile.

"Do you need a place to sit, honey?" she asks, and Luke nods vigorously. She smiles again, gesturing to the seat behind her.

"You can sit here until you find your own place to sit, okay?" she suggests, and Luke almost cries with relief. He thanks her quietly, sliding into the seat as the lady begins to drive.

"What's your name, kid?" she asks.

Luke coughs, trying to get it out.

"Luke Hemmings" he finally whispers

The bus lady smiles.

"Nice name" she says, pointing to a name tag on her chest. Luke looks in the mirror to read "Melissa" "Right back at you" he says, starting to get comfortable with the bus driver. "Alright, you're obviously new here, so I'll give you the run down" Melissa says, making a turn. Luke furrows his eyebrows, opening his mouth to speak when Melissa cuts him off with a raised hand.

The bus door opens and a few kids get on, glancing at Luke and moving down the aisle. He can hear them whispering about him and giggling a little bit. Luke bites his lip.

"Act confident" Melissa tells him, closing the doors and pulling away from the curb. Luke nods, trying to sit up straighter and wipe the nervous look off his face. He tries for a smile.

"Like this?" he asks, looking in the mirror at Melissa. "No, you look too happy for the first day of school, a little more tired" she directs, glancing at Luke occasionally while he perfects his "slightly confused but not having a meltdown" expression. Melissa nods after a while. "There you go. You want the meek but also 'don't beat me up' look. Yeah." Luke shuffles uncomfortably while a few more people get on the bus.

He looks back, noticing a blue haired boy in a seat by himself. He can't help but stare. This boy looks so beautiful, in a sad kind of way. His cream sweater hangs loosely off of him, but his dark jeans cling to his legs like a second skin. He's looking out of the window, sad movie style, and listening to music. Luke is shaken out of his staring by a new voice.

"Hey, is anyone sitting here?" the new boy asks, and Luke turns around to find a potential friend. Or, at least he looks like a potential friend.

He has honey colored curly hair, and hazel eyes with piercing intelligence. The boy flashes a smile, and Luke is temporarily blinded.

_How are his dimples so deep?_

Luke nods, and the boy sits down, holding out his hand for Luke to shake.

"Ashton Irwin." he says, grinning again. Luke tentatively shakes his hand, marveling at how big it is. "Luke Hemmings. I'm new." he replies.

If it's even possible, Ashton's smile gets even bigger at that. "Really? Wow!" he says, and then starts blabbing about how great this year is going to be or something. Luke tunes out slightly, angling himself so he can look like he's listening to Ashton but really has a great view of the blue haired boy.

Luke wonders why he looks so sad.

"Luke?" Ashton asks, and Luke snaps his head back forwards. Ashton furrows his eyebrows. "What are you looking-" he turns around. "oh." He faces Luke again, warning him with his eyes.

"You staring at Michael?" he asks solemnly, and Luke nods nervously, blushing lightly. "Why? What's wrong-" Luke starts to say, but Ashton cuts him off with a shake of his head. As his curls bounce, Luke's mood gets darker.

"Dude, you do  **not** want to go after Michael Clifford." Ashton tells Luke, and Luke is slightly angry at this boy for telling him what to do.

"Well I'm sure-" Luke starts to argue, but Ashton shakes his head again. "I'm warning you now, Luke, don't do it."

Luke turns his full attention to Ashton, instead of sneaking peeks over his shoulder at this so-called Michael Clifford.

"He's dark, man." Ashton says. "He  _killed_ a man last year."


	2. Lol what's a title

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke and Michael talk for the first time...hmmm..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU GUYS ARE BEAUTIFUL I LOVE YOU ALL 
> 
> but really you guys are great I have never gotten this much support on a fic so I will try my hardest to make it good for you guys :3
> 
> ALSO a user wanted me to translate this into Russian, but I can't, so anyone who can and is willing to, pleeeaase go talk to the username Cota  
> thanks!

Luke's eyes widened, but he decided to keep his mouth shut. The rest of the bus ride he spent in silence while Ashton happily chatted away beside him.

He couldn't help looking at Michael.

 _What's his story?_  Luke wondered.

 

\---

 

The first day of school passed in a blur. He was introduced over a dozen times (he counted) and sat with Ashton and his friends at lunch. The whole day, Luke kept glancing over at Michael, who spent most of the class times sleeping in the back of class. He couldn't stop thinking about what Ashton said on the bus.

When Luke got home from school, Liz was waiting at the kitchen table, asking to hear everything about his first day. Luke sat down and told her about Ashton, and she grinned.

"My little Lukey, making friends" she squealed, and her son made a sour face.

"I'm not three, mum" he said, shoving off her caress and standing up, shouldering his backpack. He went upstairs, and the hours flew past. Soon enough, he was lying in bed, not able to sleep. He turned thoughts around in his head about Michael Clifford, and the undeniable attraction he felt towards this strange boy. Luke sighed. It was going to be hard to fall asleep tonight.

 

\--a week passes--

 

The bus ride was especially interesting that day. First of all, Melissa had gotten a pixie cut. Luke grinned when he saw it.

"Like the hair, Melissa!" he said, giving her finger guns. She smiled, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Thanks Luke!" she said, then glanced in her mirror and frowned.

"What is it?" Luke asked, noticing the change in his friend's mood.

"Oh, it's probably nothing" she said, shifting uneasily in her seat. "Just sit down. I want to get you kids on time today." She tried for a smile, but it looked forced. Luke sat down, uneasy, and looked backwards. Through the back windshield of the now moving bus, Luke could clearly see a small black car following them. The front windshield of the car was tinted, so he couldn't see the driver, and that made him uncomfortable. He turned back around, noticing how Michael was glaring out of the back window. He stopped turning, wondering why Michael looked so angry at the car.

Michael and Luke were wearing pretty much the same clothes today. A black long sleeved shirt, and black skinny jeans. _Huh, funny_ Luke thought. Michael had also dyed his hair silvery over the weekend, and it looked great. Luke turned back around, shaking his head slightly to clear it. By this time, Melissa had made another stop. Her hands were gripping the wheel, knuckles white. She kept glancing at her mirror and at the black car, opening the doors to let in the students.

Immediately when the students got on, Melissa drove away. The black car continued to drive behind them. The car was really starting to freak Luke out, but he knew Melissa wouldn't let anything happen to them.

Suddenly, the bus swerved to the right. Everyone was screaming, including Melissa, who was trying to take control of the bus again. They drove into a ditch, lurching sideways. Luke held on to his seat for dear life.

"EVERYBODY OUT" Melissa commanded, and nobody argued. Everyone got out, standing at the edge of the ditch, looking down at the wreckage.

Suddenly, quick as lightning, a man came running from the road. Nobody saw, they were all turned the other way. The man grabbed Luke, slinging him over his shoulder and running away. Luke screamed, beating his back with his tiny fists. He thrashed, trying to get away when suddenly he was dropped. He scrambled to his feet, looking alarmed at the man who grabbed him, who was now on the ground, clutching his crotch. Michael Clifford stood over him with a crazed look in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" he quickly asked Luke, and he nodded. Michael lashed out, but luckily not at Luke. He kicked the man in the back of the head, knocking him out cold. Luke looked up in shock, stumbling away from Michael.

Michael looked up, expecting Luke to look grateful, at least, but instead found that Luke was terrified of him. Of course. Everyone thinks he's a murderer.

Before either of them can say anything, the students and Melissa rushed over to Luke, bringing him away from the road. But Luke couldn't look at anyone but Michael. He was still in shock, staring at the now silver haired boy in terror.

"Why did he...?" Somebody asked. Luke shook his head, not having an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but I should have more up by the end of this weekend :) love you guys and thanks for the support


	3. How to title this...? hehe idk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I'M SORRY  
> I have decided to take out the soulmate parts  
> LET ME EXPLAIN PLS  
> they just feel forced to me, and the whole soulmate thing doesn't fit with what I have planned for this fic, and urgh it's just not working. i'm sorry if you liked it, maybe i'll do a soulmate oneshot after i finish this fic, but it's just not working. i'll be editing out the soulmate parts after i post this chapter. sorry guys :(A

It had been a few days since the attempted kidnapping, and Luke still felt uneasy. The police had put together the story, somewhat. They knew that the man who tried to take Luke set up an obstacle on the road to crash the bus. They had the man in custody, and were questioning him. They don't know his motives yet.

Luke had changed since the incident. He was more jumpy, and he didn't sleep very well. Most of all, he was even more wary around Michael. Every time he passed the silver haired boy in the halls, he looked down and sped up. A few times, Michael tried to talk to him after classes, but Luke hurried away, clutching his books with his head down.

Until one day, when he couldn't avoid Michael anymore.

It started off as a good day, Luke woke up, went to school, and sat down in first period.

That's where things stopped being so good. Luke had forgotten to do his English homework the night before, and the night before that, and the night before that. The teacher cornered him after class, lecturing Luke about how important it was to do his work. Luke just stared blankly at his face, not taking any of this to heart.

"Now, I know that you were...set back a few days ago, by that crazy man..." The teacher, Mr. Ricks, told Luke, giving him a stern look, as if it was Luke's idea to be kidnapped. Luke reeled back in shock, trying to comprehend this man's stupidity. "But that's no excuse not to do your work." He continued, folding his arms.

"...So I'm going to have to ask you to stay in detention after school today..."

"Bullshit" Luke heard a voice at the back of class say. He turned around, although he already knew who the voice belonged to. Luke cringed, looking to face a fuming Michael Clifford. His arms were crossed, leaning back in his chair with a murderous [whoops] expression on his face.

"That is complete bull-"Michael stood up, striding towards Mr. Ricks. "Shit" he spat in the teacher's face. He was dangerously close to Luke, closer than he's ever been, probably, and Luke feels the urge to back away.

"And you know it" Michael finishes, glaring daggers at Mr. Ricks. The teacher steps back, shocked at how Michael is treating him.

"I personally think being  _traumatized_ is a perfect excuse for not doing homework. Do you know what it's like, huh? To feel empty inside?" Michael's voice cracks. "To want to do nothing but sleep, because it's the only goddamn thing that distracts you from how dead you feel inside?" His eyes are brimming with tears, but he blinks them away quickly. "Homework is the  _last_ thing that should be on his mind" Michael finishes, pointing at Luke.

Michael is already out the door, but Mr. Ricks regains his wits.

"DETENTION, MR. CLIFFORD" he yells at the retreating boy, but Michael just waves his hand in the air. Luke quickly grabs his bag and leaves.

"And I'll see you after school as well, Mr. Hemmings." Mr. Ricks says, rubbing his eyes. Luke nods, rushing to get to his next class.

 

\---

 

Luke was positive that Michael wouldn't show up for detention that day.

Which was why it was such a surprise when he did.

Luke nervously walked into Mr. Ricks classroom, taking a desk at the front of the room. Mr. Ricks greeted him with a scolding look.

"You'll be doing your missing homework today" He said, placing a large stack of worksheets on the desk in front of Luke. The blond nodded, getting out a pencil.

Michael strided into the room. He already looked bored, and took the seat directly behind Luke. As the boy plopped into his seat, Luke flinched, shifting uncomfortably.

Michael sighed. "How long are we going to be in here?" He asked in a bored tone. Luke hoped he wasn't talking to him. Thankfully, Mr. Ricks answered. "Two hours"

Both Luke and Michael groaned. Mr. Ricks slipped a piece of paper onto Michael's desk. "You'll be writing lines today, Mr. Clifford." He said in a solemn tone.

"Please, that's so old school" Michael said, ignoring the paper and getting out his phone. Mr. Ricks snatched it out of his hands. Michael's eyebrows furrowed.

"Give me back my phone!" he said, trying to grab it out of Mr. Ricks' hands. The teacher pointed again to the piece of paper. "You'll be writing lines today, Mr. Clifford" He said more forcefully. "And you  _won't_ argue about it." Michael's shoulders slumped, and he rummaged for a pencil in his backpack. Mr. Ricks took the phone up to his desk, locking it in his drawer.

"Your lines are: I will not argue with the authority, Mr. Clifford." Mr. Ricks said, starting for the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" Luke asked frantically. He did  _not_ want to be in a room alone with a hostile Michael Clifford.

"I have a few-things to take care of" Mr. Ricks said, opening the door. "And don't even  _think_ about leaving, Mr. Clifford. I'll be locking the door behind me." He said with finality. He shut the door, locking it from the outside.

Luke started to panic, but decided to exude an aura of calm. He grabbed the first worksheet, starting a vocabulary crossword puzzle that seemed like it was made for second graders. Everything was fine until Michael tapped him on the shoulder.

Luke jumped out of his seat, standing in a defensive position with a crazed look in his eyes. Michael held his hands up in surrender.

"I just wanted to ask you if you had a pencil, sorry. I forgot you might be-sensitive to people touching you." Michael said in a rush, and Luke wondered if he was actually sorry for touching him, or just sorry he didn't get the chance to murder him.

"It's okay" Luke said in a small voice, but it really wasn't. He grabbed a pencil out of his bag, handing it to Michael like it was a grenade. Michael gave him a look, as if he were used to this, and started writing his lines. Luke sat back down.

A few minutes passed in silence. Then Michael spoke again. Luke wondered why he was so interested in him.

"Are you okay-I mean like after what happened a few weeks ago..." Michael trailed off, and Luke simply nodded. "I'm fine" he whispered.

"Thanks for saving me, by the way" The blond added in a whisper. He felt the need to get that off his conscious.

Luke glanced behind him to see Michael smiling gently. Well, that was a surprise. Michael  _never_ smiled, not even for the school picture.

"You're welcome" He said, and Luke felt like he meant it.

"Can we start over? Like, without the rumors of me being a murderer and stuff?" Michael asked, chuckling. Luke looked back to find him blushing and running a hand through his hair.

Well, to say that shocked Luke was an understatement. He just stared at Michael, not knowing how to respond, when Michael spoke again.

"I don't know, I feel like we could be friends if you weren't so damn scared of me" Michael said, chuckling again. Luke found himself nodding.

"Great" Michael smiled, holding out his hand. "My name's Michael." Luke hesitantly took it, finding Michael's hand surprisingly soft. "Hi." he said, feeling an unlikely friendship growing. "I'm Luke."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long i had writer's block. But at least we're getting somewhere with character development! :)


	4. 3 months later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so late i have no excuses jk i have many let me name a few  
> a. school-need i say more?  
> b. like 5030082091830948 tennis matches  
> c. writer's block  
> d. personal shit okay get out my face

"Hey Luke, wanna come over on Friday?"

"Sure-"

"Can I come?"

Michael sighed. "Of course, Ash."

"Sweet. See you then."

Every. single. time.

Luke was getting tired of it.

Every single time Michael asked him to hang out, Ashton was always there. Always asking if he could tag along.

"I just want to make sure nothing happens" he always said. Luke understood that he didn't trust Michael, but he didn't have to be so overprotective.

Luke and Michael were walking to class, and Ashton had just butted into their conversation, gave Luke a meaningful look, then walked away.

"Does he have to do that every time? Michael sighed, shouldering his backpack and glancing over at Ashton.

"He means well, Mikey." Luke reminded him, seeming distracted. "He just doesn't trust you."

"It's just a stupid rumor, Luke, why doesn't he get that?" Michael furrowed his brow.

"Are you ever going to tell me what really happened?" Luke asked in a small voice. Michael stared at Luke, his eyes starting to fill up with tears.

"Maybe someday" He whispered, and left Luke's side to get to third period.

 

\---

 

"Promise you won't do anything stupid while i'm gone?" Ashton asked for the 50th time, packing his shorts into his suitcase.

"Of course Ash" Luke responded, lounging on his bed while Ashton packed.

"I'm serious, Luke" Ashton said, crossing his arms. "That guy means trouble"

"Who, Mikey? Nah-he's a sweetheart" Luke said with a small smile on his face. Ashton narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Don't you dare tell me you have a crush on him or I swear Hemmings-" Ashton said, glaring at Luke. When his only response was the blush on his cheeks, Ashton gasped loudly. "I hope to God you're kidding" he said. Luke guiltily shook his head. Ashton slammed his fist down on his bedside table, causing Luke to jump.

"Ash what the hell??" Luke said, shocked at his aggressive behavior.  Ashton took a step closer to Luke, pointing a finger at the blonde's chest.

"I'm warning you, Luke, you're gonna end up dead. He hasn't been the same since last year, and you better be careful around him." Ashton warned, and Luke's eyes widened.

"I can take care of myself-" Luke started to say, but Ashton interrupted him. "Not around that crazy guy" He warned, running a hand through his hair.

Luke decided at this time to take his leave, and apparently Ashton had the same idea.

"You should probably go, I have to finish packing" Ashton said, and Luke nodded. "Have fun on your trip" Luke said coldly, stomping out of the house.

Luke was furious. Who did Ashton think he was, ordering him around like that?

Luke walked down the street, his hands in his pockets, fuming about the unfair treatment he was getting. He wasn't a  _child_ , for god's sake.

Soon enough, Luke found himself at a park and decided to sit down. He sat down on the swings, thinking things over. Suddenly, someone sat down beside him. He glanced up, too angry to even get excited when he realized that it was Michael.

"Hey, Lukey" Michael said, and Luke responded with a grunt, ignoring the flop his stomach did when Michael called him Lukey. "What's got ya down?"

"Everything" Luke scoffed, running his hands over his face and glaring down at the wood chips. A pause. "But mostly Ashton" Michael motioned for Luke to continue. Luke sighed.

"He's going away on a trip, and he doesn't want me to hang out with you anymore" Luke said sadly. Michael scoffed. "Does it matter what he wants for you?" Luke bit his lip, thinking. He thought of all the times Ashton held him back from being friends with Michael, all the times that they could be hanging out and all the times there could have been something more. Anger surged through him. He was old enough to make his own decisions, he decided. He finally shook his head.

Michael smiled. "Great. Wanna hang out on Saturday?"

And Luke put on a full smile and nodded his head emphatically.


	5. These are my confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys I haven't been on here in 824738497 years and I'm so so sorry! :/ I've been severely writer's blocked (is that a thing you say?) and pretty sad and busy and stuff.. sorry :/ I want to finish this fic asap so that i can get it out of my mind ugh I have three rough ideas for new oneshots, so get ready for those to come out! :) Again, I'm sorry. Hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw there's no smut in this it just seems like I'm going in that direction but I'm not I promise lol
> 
> Also trigger warning but I don't want to spoil it so comment if you want to know what it is. Stay safe guys!

Luke stood in front of his mirror, breathing deeply. "you can do this" he told himself for the 50th time, looking over his outfit he had redone a dozen times. He put on a brave face, grabbing his keys and wallet and walking out of the door.

"Bye mom, I'm going to meet a friend" He said, hurriedly walking out the door.

"Be safe!" Liz called from the kitchen, shaking her head at her youngest son.

Luke got in his car, turning on the radio to calm his nerves as he pulled out of the driveway. He tapped nervously, driving the now familiar path to Michael's house.

"It's just another hang out" he said out loud, although he knew it wasn't. Something felt, well, _different_ this time. He told himself that it was just because Ashton wasn't going to be there. Oh no, Ashton. He would be so mad.

Luke pushed that thought out of his head, parking somewhat crookedly in Michael's driveway. His house was clean and simple, on the smaller side and painted a light green. Luke got out of the car after checking his hair again.

He walked up to the door and, after a slight pause, rang the doorbell. He checked his reflection in the window, smoothing out his leather jacket and smudging a spot of dirt on his nose. After approximately three seconds, Michael answered the door. He seemed nervous, and for good reason. Both of the boys knew that after this, nothing would be the same. 

"Come on in" Michael said, smiling brightly. "You're right on time"

Luke walked in, giving Michael an awkward smile.

"Come on, Lukey. We don't need that" Michael chided, giving Luke a jokingly disapproving smile. Luke laughed, the clear sound breaking the tension like a knife. After that, the boys relaxed, playing videogames and eating cheetos in Michael's room. Michael's mom came in a few times, offering them sandwiches and milk. Luke chuckled at how domestic she was. About three hours in, Michael burped and fell back on his bed, clutching his stomach. Luke laughed.

"If I stare at that TV for another second" He declared, covering his eyes dramatically, "My eyes are going to fall out of my head"

Luke raised an eyebrow. "You've spent entire nights staring at a screen and you get tired after three hours? Step up your game Michael!" Michael chuckled.

"I know. I'm not even tired, I just know that you're getting bored and that you wouldn't want to say anything about it" Michael said easily. Luke blinked, then cracked into a smile.

"You cheeseball" He said, giggling softly. He joined Michael laying down on the bed after turning off the game system. Luke had a thoughtful expression on his face, seeming like he was debating something in his mind.

"I'm guessing you want to talk about something?" Michael prompted, glancing at Luke out of the corner of his eye. Luke's face fell slightly, and he tried to cover it up with a shrug. "I dunno" he said, not daring to look Michael in the eyes. All the rumors he had heard about the mysterious pale boy flashed through his mind at once, making his head spin.

Michael sighed, turning on his side. Luke did the same. "I know what you want to ask me" Michael whispered in Luke's ear, making shivers run down the blonde's spine. Luke could feel his friend's lips against his ear and leaned into the touch ever so slightly. Michael laughed, the breath of air making Luke shiver again.

"Maybe two things, then?" Michael mumbled, eyes raking across the area of Luke's neck that he had such perfect access to at this moment. If only-

Luke turned his head slowly, giving Michael time to turn away, giving him time to back out. Both of them knew where this was going, and only the sound of their labored breathing was heard for a long minute. If only-

Luke's eyes searched Michael's, just wishing he had the courage to close the tiny yet unbelievably large gap between their lips. It seemed that every promise Luke made to his mom, every lesson he'd learned to stay away from the bad boys and to play inside at recess; every time he stayed home studying instead of going out partying, Every single rant that Ashton poured from his mouth about Michael and how bad he was for Luke's health, lied between them. He was waiting for a sign, a tiny encouragement from Michael, a twitch even, in his direction, and he was gone off the edge.

Michael gave him that sign, alright. He slowly leaned forward, painfully slowly reaching toward Luke with his mouth, and Luke closed the distance just as slowly, making sure that Michael knew that he hadn't been waiting for this for what seemed like forever. When their lips met, Luke immediately softened, feeling oh so natural with his lips pressed against the blue-haired boy's. Too soon, they broke apart, Luke opening his eyes to see Michael pressing his eyebrows together, lips parted in delayed shock, eyes still shut tightly. When they opened, Luke's breath got taken away. He'd never really appreciated just how beautiful Michael's eyes were until this moment. Luke stared in awe, marveling also at how red and _kissed_ Michael's lips looked. He started to smile when he saw Michael sweeping his irises across Luke's face just as Luke was doing to Michael.

"Come back, my lips are naked" Michael whispered, pulling Luke into another kiss. Luke's head whirred, feeling so light but so heavy and so full of  _Michael_ all at once, he almost got vertigo from just one kiss. He sighed into the kiss, getting a better angle and kissing Michael with more desperation, as if this might be the last time he would get to kiss him, which it may as well might. You could say Luke was shocked when Michael pressed his tongue into his mouth. On accident, Luke jumped away.

Michael immediately sat up. "Was that too much? I'm sorry, I got carried away.." He rambled, and Luke shut him up with a kiss, grabbing the sides of his head with his hands. _He could do that now._

"No, no, It was okay, I was just shocked. Just give me a little warning next time, okay?" Luke chuckled, slightly out of breath, pressing his lips back against Michael's. Michael nodded as well as he could with Luke holding his face between his hands. Luke's hands traveled into Michael's hair, tugging gently, extracting little mewls from the boy.  _His_ boy. Luke grinned into the kiss, which wasn't very comfortable, but he could barely keep his blissful smile under control.

Soon enough, Luke's smile was forced to diminish when he felt Michael's tongue run across his bottom lip. Luke felt glad that the blue haired boy had given him a warning first, and opened his mouth willingly. Michael explored Luke's mouth, and Luke groaned with pure  _happiness_. Michael pinned Luke beneath him on the bed, continuing to kiss him with increasing vigor. Luke reluctantly pulled away, mumbling "stop". Michael immediately opened his eyes, full of worry. Luke giggled, pushing his hair out of his face.

"What's wrong babe?" Michael asked, kissing Luke's face to let him talk. Luke tilted his head up, and Michael set to suckling the spot just below his ear.

"I'm not-I don't want to have sex with you...'m not ready..." Luke rambled, trying not to moan with Michael sucking at his neck. Michael pulled off, a small strand of saliva strung from his lips. Luke tried not to groan at the sight. Michael shrugged. "Okay"

Luke smiled in happy surprise, expecting Michael to argue, trying to pressure him. He felt bad for misreading the boy. "Thanks" Luke said sincerely.

"But we can still make out, right?" Michael asked, and Luke nodded at the blunt question. "Right" Michael smiled. "Then where were we?" He mumbled into Luke's ear with a wicked grin, making the blonde shiver.

 

\---

 

Luke lay with his head on Michael's chest, staring at their intertwined fingers in awe. He snuggled closer, breathing in Michael's intoxicating scent. How in the hell did he end up here?

"Luke" Michael grumbled, and Luke turned his head to look at the boy. "What are we?"

It was such a simple question, with so much riding on it. Luke bit his lip in thought.

"I _want_ to be your boyfriend" Luke mumbled, and Michael smiled softly. He started to open his mouth, but Luke cut him off with a finger. "I wasn't finished"

Michael's face fell ever so slightly, but he covered it up well with polite inquiry.

"I have to ask you something first" Luke said quietly, and Michael grinned. "Some type of test? Alright. Ask away, princess"

Luke tried to divert his thoughts back to the task at hand and not to the fact that Michael called him princess. He steeled his nerves.

"Are the rumors true?" He blurted, and Michael's smile faltered. Before Michael could respond, Luke added: "Did you really kill someone?"

Michael's diverted gaze gave Luke chills. He sat up, mouth open in shock. His fingers tugged at his own hair, eyes bugged. "Oh my god" He repeated to himself, staring at Michael. Michael sat up as well, a grim look on his face. "You better explain, right now!" Luke said, his voice cracking slightly. Michael took a deep breath.

 

~~Flashback~~

 

_Michael stumbled along the street with his friends, holding an empty beer bottle and laughing uncontrollably. It was nearing one o clock in the morning, and Michael had gotten shit faced at a party. Everything seemed so pretty to him, and he lost his friends along the way somehow, but he'd ended up in an alleyway._

_"Hello?" Michael giggled to nobody, until a figure stepped out of the darkness. Michael dropped his bottle, then regained his "wits". "I'll fight you! Totally!" Michael shouted, and the man chuckled humorlessly. He flipped a knife between his fingers, and gave Michael a cheeky grin._

_Black. His eyes were black._

_"Are you really, kiddo?" The man asked, and Michael's fight-or-flight response kicked in. Sweat trickled down his neck, and he seriously was starting to fear for his life._

_Suddenly, Michael was pinned against the wall, the man kissing his neck violently. Michael screamed, or maybe he whimpered, but either way now his shirt was off. Wait, how did that happen? No, no, he did not want this. This isn't real. It's just a dream, and Michael's going to wake up in a few moments. He squeezes his eyes shut and endures the pain, small fists beating against the man's back uselessly. Nothing. He doesn't wake up._

_When he's done, Michael is left sobbing on the ground, in an alleyway off of Military, now completely sober, left without a shirt and without his virginity. Everything. Everything was taken from him, and all the man did was smile. That sickening smile paired with the black eyes, and Michael has nightmares for the rest of his days._

 

_Two months later, and Michael is drunk again. He's smoking a cigarette to deal with the pain, leaning against a tree in the park across from the party, the music thumping through his veins. He revisits the alleyway in his thoughts, shivering from delayed fear. He hasn't been able to sleep._

_A man appears, leaning against the neighboring tree and sighing. Michael looks at him out of the corner of his eye, and jumps in fright. The man stares at him strangely until he recognizes the boy he raped. He points a nasty finger at Michael, the blue haired boy's lungs struggling to keep him alive._

_"Two months ago" The man says, smiling wickedly. Suddenly, anger surges through Michael and he attacks the man with the black eyes. Fists beat down on his chest and face, Michael straddling the monster who took everything from him. The man spit out blood with a laugh, saying something about how eager Michael was, gesturing to how Michael was holding him down. Michael's eyes burned, his vision turning red until he got up, surveying the scene he could barely remember creating. The man's body lied on the wet ground, Michael's pain finally being put off for at least a moment._

_He heard yelling, and slipped back into the party, making his way to a bathroom, after shoving a couple kissing out of the door. He scrubbed his hands, watching red flow down the drain. He happened to glance up while he was drying his hands, and was terrified of his own expression. He couldn't even recognize himself anymore. He washed a drop of blood away from his cheek with a tear._

_"Who am I?" He whispered to his reflection. It didn't respond._

 

~~End Flashback~~

 

 "It was an accident" Michael choked out between tears. "I never meant for any of this to happen. I was drunk, and stupid, and angry. So, so angry"

Luke hadn't said anything the whole time, staring in shock at the boy he realized he knew nothing about. Michael sniffed, wiping his eyes furiously. He couldn't cry. It  _so_ wasn't punk rock.

"I'm guessing you don't want to be my boyfriend anymore?" Michael asked, and Luke was snapped out of his thoughts.

"no-of course I still-" Luke stumbled, and suddenly remembered that he could kiss the boy in front of him. He did so, trying to convey just how much he cared about his (hopefully) boyfriend. His lips were salty with both Luke's and Michael's tears.

"Of course I still want to be your boyfriend" Luke breathed out, staring at Michael with newfound respect.

"Your past doesn't matter" Luke said, wiping Michael's tears gently. "It's what's here" He pointed to Michael's chest, leaning his forehead against the boy. "That counts. And I know that you've changed, and I know I'm not in danger, and I know a whole lot of other things. One of them is that I really like you. And I want to be with you" Luke said softly, intertwining their fingers while Michael wiped the last of his tears away.

"You are _so_ strong, Mikey" Luke whispered. "And _so_ worth every last bit of your past"

"How do I deserve you, princess?" Michael asked in awe, pressing a feather-light kiss to the blonde's nose. Luke giggled, blushing lightly.

 

\---

 

They shared small kisses, whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears as they cuddled, tangling their legs together and the sheets getting stuck between them. Luke texted his mom that he would be staying the night, and the last thing he felt before he fell asleep was Michael's tiny kiss against his neck and the breath of "Goodnight beautiful" into his ear.

Luke thought that he had never felt more wanted in his whole life.


	6. Ashton returns//

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tbh i hate this title but oops what else do i say
> 
> get ready for a sort of fight scene and sorry I haven't written anything in a while, I do have a Calum/You oneshot up and I'll start Dandelion love after I finish this.  
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> italics are what Ashton said, in a flashback

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

Luke flinched, shying away from his so-called best friend. Why did Ashton look so _angry_? All he'd done was tell him about Michael.

"You have  _got_ to be kidding me" Ashton said dangerously, stepping closer to the frightened blonde. Luke looked down, biting his lip in shame. Wait, no. He looked up again, suddenly angry.

"No, I am not kidding" He said with newfound strength. "I don't need your approval on who I date" Luke squared his shoulders, reminding Ashton that no matter how small he seemed sometimes, he was the taller of the two.

Ashton looked Luke up and down, shaking his head in disappointment. "I can't believe you" the curly haired boy said. "I thought you were smarter than this"

Luke rolled his eyes, scoffing.

"YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE? HE'S A FUCKING MURDERER!" Ashton screamed, pushing Luke away from him. The blonde looked up in shock, astonished that Ashton would handle the news this way.

"He had a good reason!" Luke said, raising his voice for the first time to hopefully make a point to Ashton. The curly haired boy only laughed, rather maniacally.

"He had a good reason!" He mocked, taking another step towards Luke, now backed up against a wall in Ashton's room. "There is no reason to kill someone"

Luke looked around for an escape, desperate to get away from this crazy boy. Ashton put his hands against the wall on either side of Luke, trapping him.

"You're so _stupid_ , Luke" He spat. "You think he's just some misunderstood emo kid, don't you? You think you can  _save him?_ Huh?" Ashton asked, leaning closer to Luke. His breath came in short spurts, terrified of his old friend.

"There is no fixing him" He whispered in Luke's ear, and Luke whined, trying to get out of his grasp. "Why don't you realize that?"

 

\---

 

Luke climbed into the car, looking like he'd just seen a ghost. Michael started the car, pulling out of Ashton's driveway and heading for his house. He waited for Luke to say something, gracefully ignoring the tear tracks on his face. When they reached Michael's house without a word said, Michael got out and led them upstairs to his room. They cuddled on the bed for ten minutes before Luke said anything.

"He's changed so much" Luke whispered into Michael's black hair. Michael wrapped his arms around him tighter, hoping to convey the affection he felt towards the blonde.

"I don't know what to do-he-he said that we can't be friends anymore" Luke whimpered, snuggling closer to his boyfriend.

"Well do you wanna know what I think?" Michael asked softly, and Luke looked up at him and nodded. "I think fuck it. Fuck him. He doesn't deserve to know you" Michael waved his arms wildly, letting go of Luke only for a second.

"He doesn't deserve to know you" He repeated, kissing Luke gently. Luke showed him a watery smile when they pulled away, wiping away his tears with his free hand. His other hand was playing gently with Michael's hair, fussing with the black tendrils until they were a messy pile on top of his head. Luke giggled when Michael made a face at him. His smile soon faded as he remembered his time with Ashton

_There is no reason to kill someone_

Luke and Michael went back to cuddling, Michael oblivious to the fact that Luke was in his own headspace.

_You're so stupid, Luke_

Why does he have to be so predatory? So..animalistic?

_You're supposed to be my friend_

Luke's breath started to come in shorter portions.

_You're supposed to be mine_

Luke buried his face into Michael's chest, trying to escape the words bouncing around his head.

_Mine_

"He kissed me" Luke suddenly blurted out. Michael turned to look at his boyfriend, seeing the fear in his eyes.

"Ashton kissed me" Luke said, taking a deep breath. He expected Michael to look mad, but when he looked up into his lover's eyes all he saw was empathy.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you. He doesn't deserve to kiss you" Michael said, finishing it with a kiss. He kissed Luke until he couldn't taste Ashton on his lips anymore, until Luke couldn't remember how Ashton tasted anymore.

Luke cuddled back against Michael when they were done, and Michael held him tight.

"I'm never letting go" They both thought.

 

\---

Kinda sorta Epilogue

\---

 

There were mistakes, he'll admit.

And even though they seemed overwhelming,

They weren't quite drowning Michael anymore.

He had Luke to bring him back to the surface.

He had Luke to bring him happiness.

He had Luke.

To love

To hold

In sickness and in health

 

_Till death do us part_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops I made Ashton insane
> 
> last chapter, so thanks for sticking with this fic! Love and kisses to all, byee <3
> 
> Also I never really explained it but I was going to:  
> That one chapter about Luke getting kidnapped (that chapter sucks btw sorry) the whole point was that the guy that Michael killed was in a gang and the one guy that kidnapped luke thought luke was michael and he was trying to get revenge on michael for killing his gang member whoops if you look closely luke was wearing the same outfit as michael  
> yeah i never got around to putting that in the chapter before this lol
> 
> Thanks for reading this, I'm sorry this was so spread out, I'm dumb, bye.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, blah blah blah, all that shit. lol be sure to check out my other 5sos stuff and leave a kudos and a comment if you want me to keep this fic going. Thanks, love you, kisses and hugs, byee  
> ~5sosismylifee


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